You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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