Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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