You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
