His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
