You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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