he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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