its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
