Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
