well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Found the puke drawer
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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