Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Drunk is a universal language darling
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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