You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
