I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I can't turn off my feet"
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
