Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
