You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
We have started to decorate penises.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
