dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I lost the right to judge tonight
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
