how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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