He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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