Sponge bath it is.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
