Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
