Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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