i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
