fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
