Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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