Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
