You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
