ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
