He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
