i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
