could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Nobody cheats on THIS.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
