Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Shitshow foam night was such a success
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
