the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
