I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Randomize
