that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
