All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
You smell like stripper and shame
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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