Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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