I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
