You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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