You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
