Where did you get a picture of my penis
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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