she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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