So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
