need another drink. this is the easiest way
I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
