I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
