Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
