You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
