what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
