No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
