Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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