So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Randomize
