we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
