dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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